You've sent the follow-up emails, text messages, voicemails and... nothing. Dead silence. Your counterpart has vanished into the digital void, leaving you wondering if you're talking to a ghost. Here's the thing: being ignored doesn't mean you're powerless. There's one question that cuts through the silence like a hot knife through butter:
First, you're giving them permission to say "No," and people are addicted to that word. "No" feels safe. "No" means they're in control. When you ask "Have you given up on this?," you're practically begging them to refute you, and that refute opens the floodgates.
Second, you're triggering loss aversion. The human brain is wired to avoid losing something *twice as much* as it wants to gain something. When you frame it as "giving up," you're putting a spotlight on what they're about to lose… The opportunity, the progress, the potential win. That hits differently than asking "Are you still interested?"
Third, you're forcing them off the fence. Radio silence is comfortable. It's the path of least resistance. This question yanks them out of that comfort zone and invites them to take a position.
"Have you..." places the conversation in the past tense. You're not attacking their current state but rather asking about an experience that might have already happened, which resulted in the outcomes of the current situation. Less threatening, more reflective.
"...given up..." The kill shot. Nobody wants to be a quitter. The word "surrender" is baked into our DNA as something to resist.
"...on [specific thing]?" The precision strike. You're not being vague. You're naming exactly what's at stake.
Your prospect went dark after seeing your proposal. Here's what most people do:
Subject: "Following up on our conversation" Body: "Hi John, just wanted to check in and see if you had any questions about the proposal..."
That's not going to incentivize a response. Here's what you do instead:
Subject: "Have you given up on solving this problem?" That’s it. Your first move is done. Now, you wait for them to respond before saying anything else. Don’t worry… they will respond quickly, so you won’t be waiting for very long.
Drop the question. "Have you given up on moving this forward?"
Shut up. Give them 6-10 seconds of silence. That space will give them time to think through what you’ve just said, and you’ll get an answer that is more thoughtful as a result.
Mirror their language. If they say, "The budget got complicated," you say, "Complicated?"
Label what you're hearing. "It sounds like timing became the real issue here."
Get a "That's Right." When they say those two words, you know you’ve begun to establish trust.
This question preserves their autonomy. "No" feels like freedom. "Yes" often feels like a trap. When you ask if they've given up, you're giving them an easy out, and paradoxically, that makes them more likely to stay in.
It unlocks intelligence. Their "No" usually comes with an explanation. "No, we haven't given up, but..." That "but" is pure gold. It tells you exactly what obstacle you need to remove.
It generates momentum. Once their real concerns are on the table, you can start solving actual problems instead of shadow boxing with silence.
Next time you're staring at a dead inbox, don't beg for attention. Don't send another "just checking in" email. Ask the magic Label:
Then step back and watch them rush back to the table.
That's how you turn silence into conversation, one "No" at a time.