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How to Let Someone Down Without Destroying the Relationship
Letting someone down is one of the hardest conversations we face. Whether it’s in business, leadership, healthcare, or family life—most people dread...
When Silence Isn’t Golden: How to Handle the Silent Treatment in Negotiation
When Silence Shows Up, Pay Attention There’s a moment in every tough negotiation when it gets quiet. I mean, awkwardly, maddeningly,...
“It seems like something just crossed your mind” - A Magic Wand Phrase
How to read between the lines is really how to investigate between the lines. The power of observational intelligence is driven by curiosity, and not...
How I Negotiated Ice Cream Out of a “No Substitutions” Menu - A Lesson in Possibility
How a Dinner Plan Turned Into a Negotiation Challenge It started as a simple idea—an intimate dinner for 10 to kick off an EOS Mastery Cohort in San...
Bargaining vs. Negotiation: Why Good Negotiators Never Need to Bargain
Negotiating and Bargaining are often thought of as the same thing. From the Black Swan perspective, they are drastically different. And if you want...
The Power of 'How Am I Supposed to Do That?' - A Negotiation Perspective
In the high-stakes world of hostage negotiation, words can mean the difference between life and death. During my years as the FBI's lead...
How to Stop Negotiating With Yourself
The Black Swan skills are fascinating. Developing them each day keeps your mind nimble and your relationships bomb-proof. Some challenges help you...
Ego-Labeling: The Three Words That Unlock Doors
I was preparing for a high-stakes talk at JP Morgan. Two hours before I went on stage—right before Jamie Dimon, no less—my PowerPoint got flagged for...
The Kill Line: Know When to Walk Away
One of the most memorable learning exercises I remember as a hostage negotiator was conducted in the parking lot of our local police department. We...
Let’s Put ‘Yes’ Out of Its Misery. ‘Yes’ Is Not Agreement.
At its very best, yes is only an aspiration, a hope. But hope is not a strategy, and aspiration is not agreement. Here’s why. When Never Split the...
Taking the Mystery Out of Calibrated Questions™
Taking The Mystery Out Of Calibrated Questions™ “Why did you do that?” Did that question make you feel all warm and fuzzy? No. Us either. “Why” type...
How Negativity Is Silently Destroying Your Relationships—And How to Stop It
Transforming Negativity into Growth: How Tactical Empathy Can Save Your Relationships and Negotiations Negativity can be one of the most destructive...